Predisposition for Polyamory

I think people come to polyamory (or run from it) for a variety of reasons, based partly on predisposition, partly on life experience and partly on conclusions drawn from experience.

Taking my own life as an example, I can take note of my predisposition. Looking back on my childhood, I can see that I engaged in erotic play with other little girls and boys in a state of sexual innocence. At the earliest stages I was predisposed to bisexuality. When I reached puberty I experienced molestation at the hands of my abusive stepfather, and this experience turned me off to men. Later, when the classic triangle of girlfriend and best friend happened, I felt horrible until all 3 of us went to bed together.

I draw the conclusion that I am polyamorous because I seek to re-create the experience of triads. I am less drawn by the notion of myself as a Casanova, and more drawn by the desire to experience intimacy with more than one person at a time.

In seeking a primary partner, I feel it is important to have compatible predispositions and the ability to draw a variety of conclusions from experiences. I have seen that often people stick to their conclusions whatever they may be, and this serves to narrow their possibilities for relationship. Some people may be predisposed to polyamory and run as I did for years, because I concluded it was a source of suffering. (Later I saw that the source of my suffering had much more to do with being untrue to myself.)

I have found that through Tantra and in particular, the use of non-judgmental witness consciousness has allowed me to become much clearer about this.

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