Ever feel like your plans are a mistake?

Sometimes I feel like somehow in spite of the best of intentions, I have made precisely the inappropriate decisions. Over the years I have learned to recognize this as a pattern of self-deprecation. To grow entails risk and may bring discomfort. The mistake would be to turn back from my plan before it is realized.

I have found that sometimes precisely what is needed is to remain in my own personal discomfort and not to run away from it. I have found that if I can simply dwell in the discomfort and witness my thoughts and emotions, it is only a matter of time before the path to a new way of being is lit.

I found myself in New York, with less than a week before my trip to Egypt, and nowhere near enough funds for the trip. The plans I had made previously had fallen through. I was already networking, but these things don't always move forward as fast as I might like. I had a pile of web work to do for some of my regular clients, but sitting at a computer in a stressed state doesn't help matters.

I knew intellectually this was just a trick of the mind, but I still had a hard time shifting. So I started sharing how I felt with the people I was with. This proved to be my saving grace. I was able to break out of my cyclical thinking and get support. I feel better now. What I am taking away from the events of the day is:

• Witness my thoughts and emotions
• Communicate how I feel
• Remember to love myself
• Remember that sometimes it is better to quit acting like I have it all together

I know this stuff. I teach this stuff. But...sometimes the lesson is to put what I teach into practice. The funny thing is, that in moving through to the new space, people started showing up and scheduling with me, and the financial solutions became clear.

Namaste

The Hot Tantra Teachers Prepare for Egypt

Carolena arrived in New York City night before last and spent the night with her sister.

Yesterday was a serious work day for me, working with Jehan Kamal tweaking CD cover art for music to sell in Egypt. I had a pleasant excursion taking Serena down to arial class in the Village and meeting Carolena for lunch. We got up to speed with one another and I took Serena home. On the subway, we met a beautiful woman named Amanda and had a short conversation about natural health through nutrition, and then got off the train.

After working a little, I received a note from Carolena indicating that I really should come back to the Village for a Solstice Event put on by Sexy Spirits at Centerpoint Yoga Studios: http://www.sexyspirits.com/schedule.php

You'll never believe this...Amanda was there!

It was great. I got back in touch with people I hadn't seen since Baba Dez's Daka/Dakini Conference in Sedona, like Reid of Cuddle Party. I had several productive conversations with luminaries such as Caroline Muir and Dakinis like Oshun and Hadass, and I may be getting called for massage work.

Which reminds me, I have to update Tantric Arts Institute...

Here I am in New York again...

I have been working with Jehan Kamal prior to our trip to Egypt. Http://www.jehanarts.com

She is finalizing new CDs. I am also handing over administration of Belly Dance America: http://www.bellydanceamerica.com

Carolena will be arriving in a couple of days. We are already getting responses to our Hot Tantra website. http://www.hottantra.com

Whew! There are a lot of opportunities here.

My heart leapt

I skyped Mare and she answered. No physical presence tonight, but the soul contact with Mare made my evening sweet and complete. I am in awe of the power of Shakti.