How can we make love last?
O.K. Now we are into the can of worms!
From a spiritual perspective, it is an odd question since we exist in a sea of eternal love.
It is also something of a trick question since it is based on a trick of the ego. According to Bodhi Avianasha, author of Jewel in the Lotus, (a tantra classic) temporality is a symptom of being in the ego-mind whereas timelessness indicates being in the heart space. So when we are in the presence of love, it is timeless. It is only when we are in our ego-state that we are concerned with time and with making love last.
It also begs the question of "Love with whom?" This question brings in a cascade of secondary considerations and cultural conditioning such as 'soulmate,' 'polyamory,' 'serial monogamy' and all the variations we see in society.
I would suggest 'being unconditional love with no attachment.' When I am drawn to someone, simply to express love for them and draw closer. When I am not, simply express love for them and put distance between us. 'Being unconditional love' runs counter to our programming. We are taught that love is located outside of ourselves and we must seek it and that there are certain conditions to be met. What if that's simply not true?
What if by simply being love, there is no implicit 'deal?' What if loving someone doesn't entitle us to relationship?
These days I find that when I cease clinging to a love that I think is scarce, I discover it is abundant. When I stop trying to ensure that love continues and simply let go, that it is all around me. This may occur in one person or in a progression from person to person. It is my experience that there is but one woman out there and she has a million faces. What there is for me to do is to love her and make hot love to her when she wants me to.
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